66 Weird Folk for your game

Here are a whole bunch of character traits, designed for NPC's in a dark yet quirky and humorous tone game.

1. A pig nosed local, mind twisted - opposes any and all change.
2. Well mannered civil servant. Parents are Psychopaths.
3. A perfectly normal gentleman, just escaped forced captivity - dressed in grass skirt.
4. Short and Gaudy, obsessed with toads.
5. Bright rosy cheeks and underbite, has OCD.
6. Has a twin sister, they know a secret about everyone in town.
7. Well meaning simpleton - wants to be a fireman.
8. Condescending and contemptuous social worker, obsessed with quills.
9. Brow beaten intellectual with depression. Actually a secret agent.
10. Prone to fits of black rage - his best friend slept with his ex-wife, his boss is now married to her.
11. His wife hates him - but he loves her. He also fancies Liam.
12. Pious and Cynical, takes perverse pleasure in humiliating people.
13. Incredibly old and rude - obsessed with bags.
14. Scruffy and unkempt connoisseur of plays - wont watch anything with less than 37 killings.
15. Disturbing Salesman with numerous 'wives' - fingers always covered with mud.
16. Closeted priest - Wife is a vampire.
17. Charming Troupe actor, has been plucked for stardom - Is having same sex relationship with boss.
18. Aspiring mummer - cannot deliver any line without fucking up.
19. Is renowned doctor, wont treat anyone unless they play boardgames at his house.
20. Sweet, hapless widow(er) - pathologically incapable of political correctness, despite best efforts.
21. The inappropriate mortician.
22. Obese debt collector - childish and in constant need of food.
23. Young man - prone to stealing, takes his job far too seriously.
24. Old and mad - runs a zoo with a pig, goat and a chimp.
25. Backstreet butcher - his produce gives amongst other effects, nosebleeds.
26. Unlucky and lonely - able to predict misfortune, yet never avoid it.
27. Thinks every situation, no matter how serious - can be solved by getting a pint.
28. Withered bore, claims to have performed every profession mentioned to him.
29. A doppleganger stuck in the role of a vintage mummer - jokes are awful, the audience love him.
30. Interfering know-it-all tavern drunkard, can never win a bet.
31. Ageing and feckless - extremely bad cough.
32. Youthful and vibrant, declares everything to be 'brilliant' or 'fantastic'.
33. Believes even the most mundane objects to be magical.
34. Deaf daredevil - always gets instruction wrong.
35. Claims to be incurable kleptomaniac - people think he's joking.
36. Unfunny and irritating - changed their name because it rhymed with a rude word.
37. Unnecessarily competitive - especially with his children.
38. Despite rough demeanour and lavish lifestyle, is improbably concerned about saving the planet.
39. Personality is serious and overbearing - changes to soppy and giggly when dealing with opposite sex.
40. High-bred idiot - concerned about his reputation despite incessant galavanting.
41. Fat, sweaty copper.
42. Every idea they have will be roundly ignored - only to be re-presented favourably by someone else.
43. Prone to faux-pas, cannot find coat.
44. Claims not to be pissed, clearly steaming.
45. Will ask any for their opinion on how they look - overly concerned about the size of their bum.
46. Will only eat one thing - this thing changes weekly.
47. Soft gentle artist - will fall into a dramatic fit of despair at the mention of the word 'black'
48. Keen observer of mens fashion, will bombard people with sexual innuendo. 
49. Pretentious and Laid back - listens to experimental and avant-garde music.
50. Starts every insult with 'No offense' - looks like a dried up orange.
51. A teenage parent - wont tell anyone who the father/mother is.
52. Tells far-fetched stories and benefits from great luck and success - doesn't seem to truly understand the gravity of said events.
53. High confidence and self esteem - utterly useless.
54. Speech is utterly inherent except for choice words or phrases. Very, very drunk.
55. Smug battleaxe - berates spouse for embarrassing behaviour.
56. Proclaims everything to be 'rubbish'. Except for ageing troubadour called Les.
57. Smarmy salesman - compares everything to the art of lovemaking.
58. Passes comment about every thing - regardless of personal or sensitive nature.
59. Cannot follow instructions - will attempt something 'even better'.
60. Answers all questions like a politician on damage-control mode.
61. Jubilant yet emotionally imbalanced - loves tales of cruelty.
62. Vampire who sneaks into peoples houses to give them betting advice.
63. Ardent football fan - knows nothing about the game.
64. Constantly running from one destination to another whilst shouting 'Run!' 'Come on!'
65. Perpetually engaged in lude and graphic behaviour - unaware of social discomfort this causes.
66. Inept - perpetually disgusted with every facet of their life, rendering them useless.

: More on running NPC's here, and more about creating them here and here :

NPCs for easy use behind the screen (or how I learned to prepare for being unprepared)

There are a couple of good resources for preparing to improv. I recommend putting this in a blender, making a digestible soup out of it - pour it in a bath and absorb it through osmosis.

One of my favourite parts of this, is Robin D. Law's essay: Improvising Dialogue Sequences. Summary: Every meaningful interaction with an NPC has both a Petitioner (someone wishing to get something) and a Granter (someone who has the power to fulfil those wishes)

In order to satisfy the criteria a Granter imposes, the Petitioner needs to use leverage. Robin list several useful methods - I figure that each NPC will have a preferred method of leverage, that will unlock their ability to grant the petitioners wish. We can go further than that, why not give each NPC a secondary preferred method of leverage - using this will unlock their ability to grant wishes, but with a cost or at a reduced efficiency. Also they should have a method of leverage that will make unlocking their wish fulfilling potential harder - or - impossible.

Here's a rough example:

Village Burgomeister
-----------------------------
Primary Leverage
Appeals to Duty

Secondary Leverage
Seeking Approval

Adverse Leverage
Threaten

So now we have a quick guide how to run this guy when he meets the players, these rules work if the burgomeister is both Petitioner or Granter. You could create two lists for each, but for my purposes this is simple enough. Furthermore i've put together a nice randomiser, so should I need motivations on the fly I can get them. *If you get multiples (you-will) re-roll*

NPC Motivations

: If you like this check out random NPC descriptions here :

A Picture Paints a 1,000 Words..

Need some inspiration? Each week i'll grab a random image and use it to kick start a plot thread, I actively encourage you to come up with something based on the image and post it in the comments. NPC, Locales, Items and Artefacts. I'll be doing them all.

Donaar Al'Hammam

Donaar Al'Hammam the wandering merchant has lived and made a living trading magical goods in the coastal rimwards region of Ysarn for over 80 years. Old and wizened from Ysarns blistering heat Donaar is hunched with deep wrinkles etched into his long bearded face.

He is renown for his humour, youthful spirit and quick wits, also the uncanny ability to seek out items of curiosity and wonder. He is self serving foremost, but not at the cost of others - coin is his greatest motivator but given dire enough circumstance he will do whatever is needed for those he calls friend.

Kind but stern, having travelled among the wild men of Calpar and Iprini he has grown tough and resilient to danger. His earliest achievement was uncovering burial mound of the first kings of Ysarn, and with these treasure he made his first fortune. Despite his appearance and few remaining teeth Donaar eternal youthfulness has a winning way with the ladies.

Secret : He is a elder lord of the Heeg Ad'Wallaze

A Picture Paints 1,000 words..

Need some inspiration? Each week i'll grab a random image and use it to kick start a plot thread, I actively encourage you to come up with something based on the image and post it in the comments. NPC, Locales, Items and Artefacts. I'll be doing them all.

Sophronia Vear. 

A beautiful and highly regarded socialite (by some, others have their misgivings), she belongs to House Vear - a long and especially noble family of notably strong and capable women - she's always at the most exclusive parties and always with a string of suiters fawning over her. Not entirely vacuous and vain as her detractors would have you believe, she publicly patronises numerous good causes amongst the poor and low-born. She's actually a Liche, and has been for the last 1,000 or so years. Every so often she will marry, secretly obtain an infant girl to act as daughter - go into seclusion for a decade or so, eventually re-emerging as her 'daughter'.